It is amazing how "busy" we all are. My generation really prides itself on the art of "busy"ness. It's like whoever has their kids in the most activities and they themselves volunteer at three places, wins. Wins what? I have learned over the last couple of years that being busy isn't really a way of life that gives me peace.
Here is our life for the past 3 or 4 years – Rodeos every weekend between mid-April and October with only 2 exceptions throughout, often multiple rodeos a weekend. From October to April, it's 4-H, school sports a couple nights a week, the odd bull riding practice, barrel racing clinic and whatever else comes along for the kids to do. Add to that two full time jobs, one that is done long distance or away from home, a ranch raising horses and hay crop, a home-based business and volunteering on minimum 1 board each and leading our kids' horse 4-H club. So, we win, right? Or maybe it's my cousin? For the past 3 – 4 (or longer) years, her life has revolved around 2 teenage boys playing competitive minor hockey from August to July by the time you count summer camps, dryland training, practices, tryouts, tiering, games and tournaments. She also has a daughter that is now in University and living at home, but previously was actively involved in her school and did some school sports as well. Add to that 2 full time jobs, one more than full time, really. Almost all of our friends are some shade of these or somewhere in between.
At what point did it become cool to be so busy? Looking back, I feel like by trying to give my kids more than I could have had or ever dreamed of, I missed a lot of the simple moments. We are so focused on giving them more, more, more, that we forget to even ask if it's what they want to do. For me, it's like I couldn't stand to sit still. If one thing fell off my plate, I would inevitably replace it with two more. There was a point where I was an Ag Society Director, a General Leader our 4-H club, School Council Secretary, School Breakfast Program helper and Chamber of Commerce Secretary as a work-related volunteer role. I still had a full time job and my kids were constantly running – not to mention my husband whom I only saw generally in passing.
In the past year or so, I have made a concentrated effort to un-busy my life. I have never been a super-spontaneous person, so it seemed ok that there was no room for it in our lives. Now, I want the ability to say, hey, let's go out for dinner on a Friday night. Or let's have a bonfire and invite some friends over this weekend. Instead of, who are you? My husband? Oh right, I guess sometimes there is a body in bed with me snoring in exhaustion and the bills get paid with the help of somebody's paycheque going in the account. Friends? Don't they only exist via text and facebook? I mean, who has time for friends? Unless they are at one of the activities that we are on the run to.
This past year, I have stepped down from one volunteer role and stepped back in another. I have said no to a few things that have come up and tried really hard not to feel guilty about it. I have sat on my couch, drank tea and wrote a blog, in a journal, set some goals, done some oracle card reading. I have sat on my deck drinking coffee with my dog, playing candy crush and watching the horses mosy by in the field. I have concentrated on being more present wherever I go so that people get all of me when we get time together. Just recently, I have stepped off of my multiple times daily checking and responding, commenting and posting on Facebook. It is amazing how freeing that is. I have actually finished 2 books in the last month. I am lovingthis new pace. It is funny how you can forget how to be alone or to sit in silence or to have an hour long bubble bath with no one knocking on the door. You can forget how nice it is to go out for dinner with your husband or to play games with your kids after dinner.
If this blog can do anything for any of my friends, I hope it encourages you to take a look at your "busy"ness. Are you feeling like you are winning? Or are you feeling worn out? If you are feeling like you are winning, then keep at it if the pace makes you happy. If you are like me and you are feeling worn out, feel free to take a break, take a look at what the busy makers are in your life and see if you can eliminate just one. Take that time to spend time with someone you haven't seen in awhile or someone that you see every day but don't really know anymore. Read a book, smell the roses, sit in the rocking chair, snuggle a baby, ride a horse. To me, "busy" ness isn't winning anymore. It's exhausting and I am not afraid to say that's how I feel. I am loving what I have been filling my former busy time with. That's winning to me.
